Okay I did this for you the readers. I hear tell that when entertainers experience pain and regret it attracts views and fans. I aksed my self what in the realm of RPG’s could cause me such pain that it would entertain people. well there was only two options and I already reviewed 4e (I joke and kid and will lay off 4e) so that left FATAL. now I do not think I top some of the other reviews of FATAL out there, so I will just do my thing and see how it goes.
my first thought in reading the first pages of FATAL is damn this writter is pretentious and full of themselves. they claim that the book is historically accurate and scientifically valid..oh boy this is going to be a long read.
First thing is first I will say positive things that I found in the book….the writer called identity dissociation disorder by its right name and not multiple personality disorder. though it did put the wrong name in parenthesis. umm it looks like the author spent a bit of dedicated time to typing this up as it is 977 pages!…whisky tango foxtrot 977 bloody pages of this oh god I made it through 977 pages..I may take up drinking to erase this form memory.
this game should be called charts and useless stats the game. I counted 27 stats and I that I think is not including such fantastic stats as the every popular anal circumference, vaginal depth and manhood size? why would any game need those. well the Date rape game obviously would right? in 33 years of life in the real totally accurate world I have never ever needed to know my anal circumference. if you do not need it in the real world you sure as Hell do not need it in a game. oh I am sorry of course you need it for the anal rape rules and orifice tearing that the game has silly me..like really how common are those in a game if you create rules for it…*reads further in* oh rape is super common with races, spells and items that make you do it..super! by the way there are 15 stats based on sex.
okay I think I will move beyond the obvious trash in the game. lets see what else is there..oh look having big nostrils makes you greedy…gee I wonder where that stereotype is from. oh look this game is suppose to be all about Europeans and nothing outside of it is to be in this game…except you know the nephlim based race you know the guys from a middle eastern (asia) culture. oh I love how the game says someone does not have a choice in their gender..umm gender is a social construct you do have a bit of choice there pal..maybe if you did more in psychology then copy and paste the wiki on the DSM-3 you would know that. though granted if you did copy paste you would know borderline personality disorder also affects men and that Anti-social personality disorder is not the same thing as psychopathy, also why the hell you someone try to include modern psychology in a bit that is suppose to be “accurate” to the 14th century.
oh look at all the skill of which there are 218 listed skills..that is right 218. I swear this pretentious le petit connard just looked at a list of 14th century professions and made each one a separate skill. nice the skill for pewtersmithing is just what I have always been missing in my other RPG’s..there is a cleaning and dying skill. okay how often does a person practice dying before the gain points in it? Cleaning yes because of the myth that the 14th century was a cesspool oh yes because Europeans were so primitive they could not figure our how to clean their anal circumference without getting skilled at it. now mind everyone that this historic game forgot that the vikings cleaned themselves a lot and even had a whole day dedicated to doing a deep clean of themselves.
okay this review could go on forever, but I must stop now. my head hurts and well everyone knows do not Down load this game, do not attempt to play it. I am wanting viewers and followers so I am punishing myself for people. please I endured this so you my readers do not have to.